[0] Cut it out cold turkey. It's hard but it'll get harder.

[0] Why don't you start journaling? Write some book for yourself, about what happened, how you've experienced it, and what truths are lying underneath that you might have ignored all these years because you wanted to survive and be a human being like anyone else. I'm saying this, also because I need to do that myself. So, if I'm just projecting and it doesn't make sense to you then it's totally fine honestly, you can ignore my words. I just mean that I've personally attached so much importance to how I was seen, heard, that I forgot who I really was. I don't think I've even grown up to become an adult. I'm still a kid, and even less of the kid I used to be. That's the irony of it. I felt like I was getting older, that things were going to be better, with more opportunities, more fun, more things to do. And yet the mundanity that I allowed in my life gradually dulled the way I experience it. Talk to yourself honestly, without the sugar-coating, and without the biaised judgement, the unhelping critics... And maybe it'll help. Good luck to you.